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Willpower vs Empowered Choices
Hello B Better fam,As you may be aware, I’ve been cruising on a ship with my family and have had buffet access including a soft-serve ice cream machine 3 x per day for the past 7 days. There’s a reason why people gain weight after cruising…
But not all of us do. I didn’t. And it boils down to the choices I made and my mindset which I’d like to share with you today.
It’s easy to throw our hands in the air and say “I’m on vacation, I’ll eat healthy and exercise again when I get back”. And that’s totally fine if it’s an empowered choice without feelings of regret. But that’s often NOT the case.
I was sitting with my family last night over dinner discussing our food choices this past week. They were enjoying desserts/ice cream after nearly every meal (as a mama-bear/functional nutritionist, it’s the hardest thing to watch your kids do, but they already have the knowledge to make healthier choices. They need to figure out how to make those right choices ON THEIR OWN so I let them be!)
They also came to the realization on their own that they’ve been eating so poorly (they started to “feel” the effects and notice more acne) and that they would start making better choices with their next meal. That’s an empowered choice.
I told my kids that I’ve had only 2 cookies this entire trip as my “treat” and they asked me how I resisted all the temptations.
There’s 2 factors at play in my mindset:
- Every time I’m faced with a choice, my initial thought is “how will this (food/beverage/activity) make me feel afterwards?” That split second thought of how something may hurt/serve me more often than not makes me choose something healthier. This takes practice. I see it all the time with my clients. Initially they cut out certain foods using willpower – because Bernadette said so – but then at some point, they “slip” and go back to eating something that doesn’t serve them. And they feel horrible, all their old symptoms return, and they notice how much better they felt without that food/beverage/activity. In that moment, their choice is no longer driven by willpower “because Bernadette said so”, but instead, it becomes an empowered choice of “I don’t want it because it’s not worth it!” That’s a very powerful place to be and the beginning of a mindset shift that will lead to sustainable habits.
- The 2nd factor is education (that leads to disgust in my case). I know too much about the food industry and the horrible ingredients manufacturers are allowed to add to products (I discuss all of this inside my upcoming book UNJUNK: How to Raise Healthy Eaters in a Processed World); I know about the inflammatory carrageenan and artificial colors they are likely adding to the powdered sugar they magically turn into that soft serve “ice cream”. Gross. I know about the preservative-laden cakes and cookies. It’s an immediate turn-off for me and so easy to walk away with an empowered NO THANKS. But, that knowledge also gives me the power to turn a blind eye sometimes and say, “it’s ok, it really is only once in a while” and enjoy that tasty preservative-laden cookie without regret or remorse.
That is ultimately the main difference between willpower and empowered choices, and how I made the past 7 days on a cruise a healthier one.
Was today’s tip helpful? Do you have any other tips to help resist temptations? Let me know below… -
7 Replies
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I really like the second tip! Whenever I’m craving something unhealthy, I look at the ingredients and automatically get turned off by it. I can imagine the inflammatory pathways that are being triggered and the negative symptoms I can experience by it sometimes too haha. It’s great to have a balance, so I’ll try to find another version of the treat which has cleaner ingredients or make my own version
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I personally consider my food choices presents for my future self. I have a little ritual, just like some people pray and are thankful for every meal.
I express my gratitude as well, but I reversed the process. I trained myself in asking myself the question: is this something my future self is thankful for.
Another thought that helps me is the next thought. If I want to become ninety without (more) health problems, my current body is the more younger and more ‘health-flexible’version of that older body.
All choices from today on will either tax my body (and mind) and jeopardize a health problem free future. Or my choices wil contribute to keeping my organs as young as possible and will keep my health in the best version as possible.
For me this makes choosing what to do with my food and lifestyle choices much more easy.
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yes – same. My book UNJUNK in fact has a resource as the back which can be a book all by itself with tons of healthier alternative recipes.
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well said. I always tell extended family members this as well when they poke fun at my consistently “lame/boring” health choices. But I see my aunts and uncles who are in their 60’s and 70’s in chronic pain and physically unfit and vow that I will continue to honour my body so that I live a quality life in my elder years. I too make choices for my future self. Love the way you stated it!
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That’s very helpful… my absolute biggest regret in life is drinking soda… I’ve tried so many time to quit only to have severe physical pain. I’ve tried switching to diet coke ( ) but I get headaches, muscle cramps, nausea, moody and darn right pissy to everyone . It hurts so bad that I just go back to it If I could completely give it up, I could lose weight, my teeth would probably be healthier.. ( I have to get a partial dentures) but it cost around 8,000.00 dollars and I do not have health insurance…I feel like I would be happier… going to really try to do what bearnedtte suggest …
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If it makes you feel any better, my mom used to take me to eat at McDonalds almost daily after my grueling 4 hours of gymnastics training as a teen. And I used to use the ‘buy 1 get 1 free’ coupon, so it was a double whammy of burger and fries.
Of course, today she regrets feeding me that junk and here I am standing stronger and healthier than before. The body is resilient and adapts to the environment in which you are asking it to try to thrive in.
So no regrets. Look ahead. You being here and wanting to make changes is proof of your desire to change, so this will become your outcome! The body follows the mind!!
Regarding your desire to quit soda. It’s a tough one for sure given how addictive it is. And I’m glad your body rejected the diet version because it’s even worse for your health. Have you tried switching to a stevia sweetened soda instead like the brand Zevia? I would try that for a month to allow your taste buds to change and adapt.
And when you’re ready to make a bigger leap, I would then add in a few sparkling waters (add in a fresh lemon wedge to it too for flavor or a sliced orange) to help you wean off of Zevia.
And when you’re ready, cut out the Zevia altogether.
Hopefully these baby steps will help you cut out soda for good!
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When I do remember I think “would you feed this to your future child” – and then I think no. And IF it’s a yes then it’s within moderation so I don’t approach it like it’s 100% OK but like an occasional thing
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